Forgetmenot
by Sister of Gallifrey
Summary: England has had enough of being treated like rubbish by the country he loves. He just can't take it anymore and finds himself alone in a frozen landscape with a loaded gun in his hand. USUK


**My first Hetalia fanfic so be nice, hehe. It is a USUK fic, because I absolutely love that pairing! :D This is just something I wrote one evening when I was bored okay, so it isn't that good.**

**And it is a song fic of Raubtier's song "Förgätmigej" ("Forget-me-not" in English… yes, the flower) I'm so in love in this devastatingly sad and beautiful song. I tried my best to translate the Swedish lyrics into English but honestly it's almost impossible to make it good in this case. You see Raubtier is one of those bands whose lyrics are extremely poetical while the music itself is industrial/heavy metal :) And turning a poetical piece into another language is almost blasphemy.**

**Anyway. This story is extremely Angst and even more cheesy, so if you don't like that stop reading here. Arthur and Albert are portrayed as the countries and their thoughts match their own beliefs and not mine…. Just so you know.**

**Sorry for horrible English, if you hadn't already understood I'm Swedish and therefor English is not my Native language. This story is probably full of grammatical errors and for those I apologize.**

**Anyway, davai. I hope you'll enjoy it.**

**...**

_When alone I hear the howls of wolves _

_The angst gives no respite_

_What good does crying like a woman make?_

…

Do you have any idea? Any idea at all what you've done to me, America? Your betrayal, your so called "independence". Do you have any idea what that did to me? You used to be so kind, so loving. I remember how you used to fall asleep right next to me, how you tugged yourself real close. I still remember that happiness I could see in your eyes every time you saw me. But now… now you're just plain rude and ignorant. Now you laugh in my face and refused to be closer to me than five feet. Nowadays all I can see in your eyes are hatred towards me. Why did it come to this? You were my only real friend, you were the only one who treated me with respect and love. Now I'm all alone in this world.

When you've been alone for too long your mind starts to play tricks on you. I came to that point a long time ago. America-kun, you laugh at my so called "imaginary friends" but you are the reason to why my mind created them in the first place.

I miss you; I miss you so much it hurts. I'm trying to fight back my tears but to no good. I may put up a stern and solid look among others but during those lonely nights in an empty house I can't fight back those destructively rabid feelings. I know crying doesn't solve anything, but what can I do? Every day you just keep stabbing my heart with your stupid remarks and your patronizing stares.

…

_Out here snow and coldness rule_

_And the one who finds the path_

_Will in the end only find…_

…_._

But it's okay, really. Because now I have a plan. I've got it all worked out you see. Sure it took me hours to walk here but it was worth it 'cause I know this is the perfect spot. The icy wind is tearing my flesh, biting my face off. No sound is to be heard for miles. Not a living soul to be seen. But that's just fine, better than fine actually, it's perfect.

The snow covered white roam around me is peaceful, a far more peaceful place than my soul is. And I know. I'm one hundred percent sure that this place is destined to be…

….

_A frozen body on a stone cold floor_

_A used casing, caliber 12_

…

…the place where my hopeless life will end. You see, life without you just isn't worth living. To spend a whole life time without touching you, without having you next to me, it just seems pointless. Not to say horrible.

I know I'm a country, I'm not supposed to have these kinds of feelings. And not towards someone who's been like a brother to me. A brother I raised to be that strong, stunning nation he once was. No, I know it isn't supposed to be this way. But I also know that all those thoughts fly right out the window as soon I lay my eyes on you.

The truth is that I love you. I love you with all my heart and a life without you just isn't possible. I know I'm slaughtering a whole nation by putting those small shots through my head. But right now I don't care. If anyone ought to find me they are going to find this great nation in a pool of snow and blood with a shotgun in his hand. England has come to its end.

….

_A twinge of pain, a splash of gunpowder_

_Is the only way out_

_Then all the plagues will have ended_

…

I know people will find me stupid and naïve. But I honestly don't care. I'm going to end this suffering with a burning hail. This is the only way out of this tormenting life. I've tried to speak to you, but every time I did you just laughed at me and turned your back.

Is this the only way to make you understand? Or will you even care? Sometimes it even seems like you care more about the frog than you care about me. And I was the one who used to be your world. I remember the time when you actually loved me; it was the best time of my life. Why did you have to change America-chan?

….

_You__ have__ abandoned__ me_

_But now when the end reveals itself_

_I beg of you, forget-me-not_

_Forget-me-not_

…_._

Have you any idea how much it hurts? The day you celebrate the most… The day you love more than anything… it was the worst day of my life. Because it was on that day you broke up with me. That day you pushed me to the muddy ground and told me that it was over. The rain was so heavy it concealed my tears, but I'm pretty sure you heard my desperate screams as you walked away.

Was I really that hard on you? Was I really that cruel? All I ever wanted was to protect you, to love you.

I know you don't want me anymore and I know that you hate me. But I hope, as I stand here with a shivering, frozen and crying body that you at least can do one thing for me.

You see, I fall to my knees now. Partly because of the cold that now has made the lower parts of my body numb, but also because of all those emotions that runs through me. The heat of my body melts the snow under my knees which only makes the whole situation worse. My green uniform becomes a darker shade of the icing water that runs right through my clothes.

I know that I have to hurry, if I don't do it soon my body will be too cold for me to move. I just hope that you know that before I die, my final wish is for you to remember me. Don't forget me honey. Please don't ever forget me.

….

_After the__ aggrieve__ paleness of the thought_

_My tired soul tears_

_My time is consumed and forfeited_

…_._

And then, everything is blank. The tears have frozen to ice on my cheeks and new ones aren't forming. It's time. I've reached the journey's end. Now I die.

I close my eyes and slowly put the muzzle of the gun between my lips. I take a deep breath.

…

_Pale shadows in the light of the moon_

_The heart stops heavy like a rock_

…_._

The night casts a blue, skeleton like light on me of witch I cannot notice through my closed lids. Neither do I notice the shadow moving through the woods.

And even now, before I've made the move to pull the trigger. My heat has already stopped. It's a dead weight in my chest, which I no longer feel.

…

_A twinge of pain, a splash of gunpowder_

_Is the only way out_

_Then all the plagues will have ended_

…_._

I picture his beautiful face right in front of me right before I am to do the final move. I picture his honey brown hair. His blue, confident eyes and the smile of a hero. Soon the ghost of my past will be erased together with me. Soon that smile won't haunt me anymore. Soon my soul will find the same peace that surrounds me. Soon all my pain will be gone. Just one move and it's finally over.

…

_You__ have__ abandoned__ me_

_But now when the end reveals itself_

_I beg of you, forget-me-not_

_Forget-me-not_

…_._

But as I put a little more pressure on the trigger a sound suddenly shakes me awake. Was it branches breaking? I open my eyes and searched through the area with my glance, but I can't find anything. I draw the conclusion that it only was an animal and so I close my eyes again. Preparing myself once more.

But then I hear it. It's a low and scared voice but I can still hear it as clear as if it had come from my own mouth. "Iggy?"

I open my eyes to see someone staring at me from the woods. I can't make out what the person looks like in the dark but I would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Iggy, what are you doing?" Your voice is scattered. More broken than my own voice is. Have you been crying? Because of me?

The shock of seeing you out here and in that state makes me drop the shotgun into the snow.

"Oh my sweet, beloved Iggy! What are you doing?" You tremble on your words. Are you crying now?

I hear you come closer and suddenly you are right in front of me, on your knees, staring right into my eyes. Even though the moonlight hits your back so that I can't see your face I know you are crying. I can feel the salty scent of your tears.

You pull out your hand and carefully stroke my hair and neck with it. "What's happened to you? What made you feel like this?" You don't know? You seriously don't know what you've put me through?

"You," I whisper.

I hear how you stop breathing and I feel how your hand freezes to my neck. It seems like you can't speak so I decide to explain it to you. I've tried to before but this time you actually seem serious enough to listen.

"I love you America. I always have. And once you seemed to get that. Once you actually loved me back. But now, now you treat me like a bag of rubbish. I'm nothing to you, and I never will be again. And it hurts; it hurts more than words can explain. Especially every time you give me those neglecting glances and every time you laugh at me like I was a stupid child. And I just simply can't take it anymore. I'd much rather be dead than be living a life without you." I close my mouth and prepare myself for another one of those stupid remarks you make every time I try to tell you.

But you don't say anything, you don't even laugh. You just sit silently in the same position as before.

I close my eyes and let my head fall. Why is this happening? Why couldn't you just have let me die?

But then suddenly you start moving. To my surprise you're actually moving closer. You wrap your arms around me and pull me in for a warm, loving embrace. You rest your face against the crock of my neck and I can hear you shiver. Why are you acting so strange? Why are you acting like you care?

"You've got it all wrong Iggy. I am so desperately in love with you!"

I stop breathing for a while. I can't believe that what you're saying is the truth. "Wha-? Why were you..?" I can't form a functioning sentence. Not after what you'd just said and definitely not after the way you're breathing into my skin.

"Because I don't want to return to what we were! I don't want to be controlled by you as before! I value my independence far too much. I treat you as crap because I thought that would push my feelings away, but it never did."

I gasp. Could I really believe in that? Was it really the truth? He sounded dead serious. But it might be all those sensational feelings of having him this close messing with my head. "I would never do that again you know. I would never steal your independence. I love you, why would I do something that obviously hurts you?"

You took a moment to answer. "You did before."

"I wanted to protect you, but I know I don't need to anymore. Please America, give me a chance. If you really do love me so please let me try! I can't live without you!"

You pull a trembling sigh. "Were you really going to do it?" you ask with tears in your voice.

"Absolutely," I answer with absolute certainty.

You lean your head backwards so that you're staring in to my eyes. "You're stupid and selfish do you know that?"

"Oh come on, you'd forgotten me directly!"

Your hold of me tightens. I can't see the expression in your face and it frustrates me.

"Don't you dare say that! Iggy, how could I forget the country who raised me? The man I love? Believe me, I could never forget you!" And with that said you gripped hold of my head and pull me in for a long wanted kiss. And for the second time this night my heart stops, but this time for a completely different reason.

Now I know that you'll never forget me my love. Just as I'll never forget you.

* * *

Please review! I'd love to hear what you think! Even though it was a One shot! :)


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